


see how our wants horrify us

by jedijarmarcal



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Desire, F/M, Good versus Evil, Goodbyes, Hopeful Ending, Internal Conflict, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:05:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedijarmarcal/pseuds/jedijarmarcal
Summary: I really suck at summaries. Kinda angsty? Kinda not? Essentially it's Caroline and Klaus and a brief moment where almost isn't quite good enough.





	see how our wants horrify us

**Author's Note:**

> It should be a general disclaimer that I have no idea what I'm doing.

 

 

 

 

_for a second I could peer down the empty brightness_

 

 

_and think of loving you_

_if only it could always be like that,_

_clear,_

 

_appalling_

 

 

— **Rebecca Tamás**

* * *

 

 

 

 

Fog silent, Klaus moves a hand toward her, already half curled back to himself as if knowing the burn his fingerprints will endure from the heat of her.

 

How unfair that something that could be so devastating also be so tender?

 

That burning inferno that spins and spits beautiful flames down her spine is a traitor for his sawtooth grins. How do the pads of his fingers find every gossamer hair above her elbow and they are risen from the dead she, too, rose from-

 

Is this what being alive feels like?

 

No, no, _no_ , this is something else. She is not _that_ girl with the stuttering heart and a tongue that couldn’t find its way past her teeth- her teeth!

  
She is a monster with venom in her throat that burns and burns and why can _he_ soothe the ache so wantonly, and yet she _cares_ , the devil having forgotten to rip her soul from her corpse before sending her back.

 

The look on his face makes her want to rip it out herself, and bury it so deep it will never be able to find topsoil again. Let the worms and the maggots feast on that part of her, if only it meant she could truly revel in him.

 

_If you ever look at someone else like that, I will kill you,_ she wants to tell him, but she is not quite a god, just an imposter, like him. Still, she is powerful, and her skin is humming with need, and he is _hers_.

 

His hand drifts, and she let’s it. The fool he is wants her to believe that’s just where it happened to fall, but Caroline knows him and knows he makes his own rivers. She is storm battered and weary and it’s been so long since he’s been this close without something other than her name on the forefront of his lips, so she lets him have the victory of pulling her closer.

 

More. More. More.

 

Desire is wild, it’s the bloodlust she can’t quite sate, and everything else that she keeps secure and shut off from her itching fingertips and searching lips.

 

Yes, he always makes the first move, but the kill always belongs to her.

 

The stubble along his jaw is a redwood forest and she is enchanted, enamored, and only just barely holding onto the self-control she is notorious for. If it were him, she’d be naked, but isn’t this so much better? Giving in, but only enough for the pleasure to kick in?

 

“It only feels this good, because it _hurts_.”

Honesty? At a time like this? When she only cares about tasting the skin of his neck. It would be so easy to dig her teeth in and revel in that beautiful symphony once again.

 

Would he let her?

 

Really, she should keep her mouth shut, but he’s an impatient man and he is even closer now, and his kiss is painful, but his mouth takes from hers, willingly, any hesitation that had lingered there.

 

“No,” he manages to say it in a breath, and the resolve with which he says it is _life_ , “you’re the only one that wants it to hurt.”

 

 

“No,” he manages to say it in a breath, and the resolve with which he says it is _life_ , “you’re the only one that wants it to hurt.”

 

Confused, she looks at him, her hands holding onto his collar like they already know he’s going to go.

 

“No,” she mirrors- except did he sound this heartbroken?- and panic threatens to start her shaking, “you don’t get to leave after making me _feel_ you.”

 

He laughs, a broken sound, and his hands leave her sides and grab hers still clinging to his collar.

 

“I’ve felt you for years now, and if I can survive it, then so can you.”

 

“So why? Why put me through what I did to you?”

 

Yes, she knows exactly what she did to him, and knows what comes next.

 

_Go, go, go, be gone._

 

“You have your doubts- no, not about me. About yourself.” Gingerly he lifts one of her wrists to his lips, the faintest kiss meeting the rare thud of her pulse. She feels it in her chest and can’t help the blurring of her vision, “ So go: _this_ will outlive even us.”

 

Even after he leaves- always gone, but who’s fault is that?- the feeling stays.

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  


_you made it so that taking a kiss_

_full on the mouth feels like weeping:_

 

**-Tarfia Faizullah**

**Author's Note:**

> idk guys.... thoughts?


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